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I was inspired to write this based on a quote posted by Ro Elori Cutno in addition to a conversation I had with my best friend and greatest nail tech alive Jada Maria. She knows how much I've sucked in the past because my expectations from any man I expect to be with long term are rather high.

It's a lot of us single women out there. A lot of us have indulged in great understanding of life and relationships. We've been through some things, had some heart breaks, some hoe moments, some crappy dates, we've read some things, we observe, and we decide what we will and won't put up with as a woman.

We ask God to send us our husband and man of our dreams. We ask for a stallion.. then God delivers a pony... we be like ... whet?!
When I say a pony (and this is not to compare men to animals for you sensitive readers out there) but metaphorically, God sends us men who aren't packaged in the way WE envisioned.

But what's crazy is God is infamous for delivering us what we need versus what we want. Everything in the greater scheme of things has a purpose. We are all connected and life experiences shape us into individuals who will continue to engage and facilitate experiences that shapes others.

And believe it or not, that man of gold may take some investment and detailing. Your knowledge as a woman and individual love could be the one thing makes a man that's in love with you want to make himself better. Now I don't mean going out here taking care of men, giving him gifts and money, and letting dude drive your car. I mean on a spiritual connection level; emotionally and mentally. If a man is willing to elevate his knowledge of you, his knowledge of self, and his over all thinking to be better for you; then ALLOW him to do that. Show him how to treat you and if he's receptive and applying what you desire from him, don't throw that away. That's a man putting forth genuine EFFORT. And let's just be real, if you eliminate romantic relationships, it ain't many people that care enough about you to put forth effort to be better for you because they want to be around you that much.

Men take a little longer to "get it" if you get what I mean. However, that man can be exactly what you need if given fair opportunity and chance... as long as you can see he desires to be better.

It's a lot of pressure on men to be perfect so they can mate. The whole reason for men doing everything they do (having a job, going to school, getting a nice car, going to the gym, making more money) is to mate. Men desire partners just as much as women do. And IF a man finds someone he loves, his hunting nature will make him want to adjust some things for THAT woman. Just observe little boys who have crushes on girls at school. Those boys be willing to do anything for that girl, and that's before they ever grasp the concept of true love and relationships.

Allow that man to grow for you.

Now it's annoying to say the least. I don't know any woman that wants a "project" man. It takes time and energy to make a man better for us. (then you can do all of that, just to make him better for someone else... but that's a WHOLE 'notha blog post lol)
We all want him to come pre packaged to perfection: tall, handsome, 800 credit score, nice car, leader in his community, responsible, chivalrous, humble, and at the mental and spiritual strength to guide us, protect us, and teach us things....sounds nice right?

Well...He's probably already married hunny.

Every man has it in him to be just what you prayed to God for. Especially when you're a jewel in his eyes.

And I know it's hard sis. You see all ya friends on social media with their noble, fine ass men getting married, making cute "I love you" paragraph posts, going on couple trips, establishing security, and being happy n whatnot. (Especially if you're in your mid-twenties... for my early 90s babies out there lol)

You're all alone or feel like you're stuck with a "work in progress" partner. However, understand that these seemingly perfect relationships aren't what they are because they've been perfect from day one. Anyone that's truly happy with their partner and honest will tell you that growth and learning is apart of that "happy ending" development. Those beautiful pictures of success come with a back story, struggles of some sort, and obstacles that were over come to reach that moment of show casing an unbreakable love.

Some are lucky and got the perfect partner with the first go round.
Some photos are for show... and only time will tell with the fakes. But at the end of the day... who desires a fake, weak relationship that would tremble at the mere appearance of obstacles?

I really couldn't give a rats booty hole about posting pictures online to falsely exude happiness. You want the real thing. Something divinely cradled and touched by God.

Moreover, just make it a habit to elevate everyone around you. Family, friends, and co-workers; not JUST your partner. As long as you practice bettering yourself daily in addition to elevating the positive people and forces around you; you will see an incredible satisfaction in all your relationships. Set that standard on how you desire to be treated in LIFE and ensure that everyone meets that standard. Be the type of person people WANT to treat well and have in their life as well. Be a genuine and valuable individual. Not even the richest man will trash authentic jewelry. :)  

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